THE FACEBOOK DRINKING GAME: SOCIAL SKINNY STYLE

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Rules:

1. Every participant must have facebook and use it relatively often in order to partake in game.
2. Every participant must be willing to drink alcohol. This game will not be diluted by teetotallers who (let’s face it) are where fun goes to die.
3. Every participant must have access to their facebook account – either through a laptop, phone, tablet or extraterrestrial internet-functional device.
4. A deck of 52 playing cards is required. Take jokers out or leave them in and create your own rule for them. I’m tired of thinking.
5. Place the deck of cards face down in a pattern that depicts Mark Zuckerberg’s face. Or just put them on the ground in any ad hoc fashion. What do I care.
6. The person who has posted the most recent item to their facebook page draws the first card.
7.  Find the instruction that corresponds to the card (from the table below) that has been drawn in the table below and complete. Continue in a clock-wise fashion. Or anti-clockwise fashion. Whatever.
8.  If there is any action that cannot be completed due to the inadequacy of the phones and/or tablets and/or computers on-hand, or for any other legitimate reason, another card must be drawn. There will be no slacking off or skipping of turns. EVER.
9. Continue the game until you get bored, pass out, run out of alcohol (shoot yourself) or get through all 52 cards.
10. You must take a shot for every comment and like you get on any content that is posted on your facebook wall during the game.
11. You earn 30 points for every like and 70 points for every comment you get throughout the game.
12. The aim of the game is to get drunk and earn the most amount of points.
13. The person who earns the most points at the end of the game earns the facebook super-awesome-epic-drinker award and gets to have lunch with Mark Zuckerberg at Christmas in the North Pole. Santa may even make an appearance. *
14. The person who drinks the most earns a huge headache and a big bottle of tap water. If the game is being played in a third-world country it is recommended that the water be boiled prior to drinking.
15. The ‘All in’ instructions mean everyone participates in the challenge.
16. The ‘Shot or Dare’ instructions give you a choice between taking a shot or completing the specified dare. It’s not rocket science.
17. In any case of uncertainty, the majority rules. It’s a goddamn democracy.

Tip: If you are looking to play for any more than about 5 minutes, take a sip of your drink instead of taking a shot. Otherwise things are going to get messy pretty quickly and your toilet is going to end up looking like a warzone.

Disclaimer: In no way does The Social Skinny endorse the irresponsible consumption of alcohol, despite one of the aims of the game being stated as getting drunk. Please pace yourself and have nachos or Macdonalds on hand in case of emergency. Also it goes without saying the game is for those over the age of 18, or 21 for Americans. Unless they are playing in a country where the legal drinking age is 18. If you are under the legal drinking age, you can sub red cordial or red bull instead of alcohol. If you are under the age of 13 you are forbidden to play, even if using cordial, because you are violating the terms and conditions of facebook and Zuckers will be very angry. Go and play with barbies or something.

*Santa appearance subject to his christmas schedule. Flights to North Pole or any expenses will not be covered and Mark Zuckerberg probably won’t attend.

That is all. Good luck.

	Take a shot and lose 100 points if you have ever, at any stage, changed your name on facebook to anything other than your actual name (including strange variations of your name) because you’re attention-seeking and/or you thought it would be funny. It’s not and you’re an idiot. Otherwise, choose anyone else to take a shot (preferably someone who has committed the crime above) and gain 40 points.
	Look at your last five status updates and take a shot for every post that relates to any of the following subjects: your partner, your job, your pet or your dinner. Gain 100 points if you have not spoken of any of these subjects.
	Shot or Dare: Go online and message the third person on your list of people online inviting them over to your house for a good time. Earn 250 points if they agree.
	All in: create a place called ‘STD clinic’ or something similarly embarrassing and check everyone in. Every person who refuses must take a shot. Everyone who participates gets 50 points.
	Take a shot for every check-in you have made in the last two weeks. Gain 20 points if any were with 5 or more people, because you look popular. Lose 100 points if you have checked into ‘bed’, ‘home’ or any variation of these.  Even if it was at 4am in the morning (and hence proving you are eternal party animal). Fail.
	Go to your friends list and pick the first person whose name starts with ‘T’. Take a shot if you have no mutual friends, because that means you probably aren’t really friends in real life. For every mutual friend you have, gain 10 points.
	Take a shot if you ever had MySpace. Take two if you still use it. How dare you cheat on Zuckers! 100 points if you’ve never had a MySpace profile.
	All in: Everyone read out their last five status updates. As a group, determine who deserves the ‘Show Pony’ award for showing off the most. They take a shot. Then determine who deserves the ‘FML’ award for seeming the least successful/popular/awesome according to their facebook statuses. They lose 50 points. Everyone else gain 50 points. It’s not personal. Or maybe it is.
	Take a shot for every status update over the past month that attracted 0 likes. You lose. Gain the following points for each other status: 1-3 likes: 15 points 4-6 likes: 40 points 7-10 likes: 75 points 11 -15 likes: 150 points 16+ likes: infinity points. You are a hero.
	Shot or dare: give the group control of your facebook for a free status update pass. Leave it up for 15 minutes – 35 points. Leave it up for 30 mins – 70 points. Leave it up for an hour – 100 points. Leave it up all night – 500 points.
	How many times have you updated your status, checked-in or posted anything to your wall over the past two weeks? Take a shot if you count over six items. Lose 50 points per status, photo, check-in etc over eight. Oversharing much?!
	Check your friend requests. Take a shot if you have none because you are unloved, unpopular and pretty much nobody wants to be your friend. Gain 20 points for every friend request you have.
	Take a shot if you have not yet asked someone a question on facebook using ‘questions’. Get with the program. 15 points for every question you’ve asked.
	Look at your last five status updates and take a shot for every instance of the following words: ‘awesome’, ‘epic’, ‘lol’, ‘roflmao’, ‘like’, ‘totally’ and ‘fml’ (or any related variations of acronyms). Gain 100 points if you have 0 instances of these terms.
	Check the movies you have listed in your info section. Take a shot for every movie that the majority of the group thinks is lame. This should probably include just about any romcom. If you’re a guy, take two shots for lame romcoms you have ‘liked’.  Gain 10 points for each of the following titles, if you have included them: The Hangover, Get Him to the Greek, Superbad, Supertroopers, any Bourne movie, any Matrix movie, any zombie movie, any movie with Johnny Depp in it.
	All in: Anyone who ever said they would never get facebook all those silly years ago, take a shot for selling out. Everyone who signed up straight away take a shot for being such a silly little sheep. Everyone else gain 20 points. This should be no one, because let’s be honest – you’re one or the other.
	Shot or dare:  send a random friend request to any person you find on facebook (who you don’t know). Earn 300 points if they accept your request during the game.
	Take ten shots if you have updated your status in the past month with anything even remotely lovey-dovey or lame in relation to your partner. Plus lose 1000 points. Gain 10 points if you agree that people who write updates about how their partner is ‘the best’, ‘the sweetest’, ‘the funniest’ or anything similar deserve to die a horrible, gory death.
	All in: everybody update their statuses. Whoever gets the first interaction (like or comment) gets 100 points. Everyone else drink.
	If you have listed ‘Christianity’ or ‘Catholic’ as your religion, take two shots. God is angry with you for drinking! Gain 20 points for any listing alluding to the fact you don’t believe in God or have any religious beliefs, because that is a very Gen Y/X thing to do.
	Check your wall over the last month. If you have not been tagged in any photo albums, take a shot because your facebook friends are assuming you have no life. Remember, if it’s not on facebook, it never happened. Gain 20 points for every album you have been tagged in over the month. If anyone in the room tagged you in one of their albums, they also gain 20 points because they are equally cool.
	All in: Check your last post (photo, status, check-in etc) – whoever got the most likes, gain 100 points. Whoever got the least, take a shot.
	People that travel are way cooler than everyone else and documenting your every move overseas is essential to inciting facebook jealousy and generally proving your life is better than everyone else’s.  Gain 15 points for every country documented in a facebook album of yours. If you have no albums dedicated to overseas adventures, take two shots.
	All in: head to any page or profile within facebook- the first person to find any comment or update that includes a or any smileyface variation written by any other person in the room, gains 100 points. The smileyface offender takes a shot, and loses 20 points for any other smileyfaces they have included within that post (a double smileyface is just pure sin).
	Take a shot if anyone in the room (including yourself) can recall you posting one of those immature status updates having a go at someone publicly like a sad school kid. Didn’t your mum ever tell you not to air your dirty laundry in public?
	Take a shot if you are not admin of a single facebook page. What is wrong with you? Gain 20 points for every page you are admin for.  Gain a further 100 points for any page that has over 1,000 fans. Gain 1,000 points for any page that has over 10,000 fans.
	Check your apps -if you have added Farmville, Cityville, mafia wars or any other time-wasting addictive facebook game take two shots.  If anyone else in the room is a facebook gamer, force them to take two shots. Gain 20 points if you have ever blocked someone because you got so sick of their incessant game-related updates that you wanted to kill yourself. (but thought blocking their posts was a less extreme measure to take).
	All in: everyone check their upcoming events. Whoever has the least upcoming events, take a shot. Whoever has the most (and is thus the most popular and coolest), gain 100 points.
	Take a shot and lose 40 points if you have your birth year listed and are probably about to lose all your life savings due to identity theft. Lose a further 100 points if you have no life savings.
	Check your privacy settings. If your profile is public and viewable by anyone, take three shots. You are an idiot. Gain 30 points if you are not a public show pony loser.
	Check your relationship status.  If it’s displayed, take a shot. Foolish. Gain 20 points if you have not paraded your relationship or single status to the world to aid further stalkers and cause great commotion when it changes. Lose 100 points if you have a fake relationship with your friend, your pet, god or some other figment of your imagination. Lame.
	Check your wall over the past two weeks. Gain 5 points for every person who has posted on it, because they are making you look like you have real friends, even though you probably don’t. If anyone in the room has posted something to your wall over this time, both shot.
	All in: Everyone go online. Whoever has most people online, take a shot because your friends are losers who have nothing better to do with their time! 50 points to the person with the least friends online.
	Go through your last ten profile photos. Take a shot for every one that was taken by you holding the camera. Lose 20 points if you have the same smile/expression/pose in the majority. Gain 100 points for any ugly photos that you put up to be funny despite the fact your friends or their friends might think less of you for not being a facebook profile hottie.
	Take a shot if you have over 500 photos of yourself (tagged). Take two shots if you have over 1,000. Take three if you have more than 1,500. Shame on you for being such a love-job show-off.
	Shot or Dare: it’s video time. Your facebook friends are over your usual boring updates and check-ins. Everybody knows online video is where it’s at. Your so-called friends in the room will give three options for your upcoming YouTube debut. For example you might have to perform a strip tease, snort some curry powder or rap your last five status updates. Choose one, perform it like you’re in front of a crowd of millions, then post it to facebook. And tag yourself. 500 points.
	Trivia: What was the original name of Facebook when Zuckers first created it? Take a shot if you are a clueless idiot, otherwise gain 30 points.
	Take a shot and lose 50 points if you have your political views listed. Wanky.UNLESS they are some form of joke-related thing, in which case you can gain 35 points for trying to be funny. Even though you most likely failed.
	You have too many facebook friends and quite frankly it’s just sad.  Go through your friend list and gain 50 points for each person you delete. If you are too scared to jeopardise your imagined digital popularity, take a shot instead.
	Take a shot for every ex you are facebook friends with. Visit each of their profiles and gain 25 points if the group rates them as hot, lose 25 points if the group rates them as NOT. If they are in the room, both of you lose 50 points. Awkwardddd.
	Shot or dare: take a picture of yourself kissing someone else in the room of the same gender. Post it to facebook and tag yourself and them. 100 points.
	Take a shot if you have your mobile phone number publicly listed on your profile, because you are clearly inviting stalkers. Unless you have less than 150 friends and your profile is set to ‘private’, because then they would probably have your number anyway, but it is handy for you to list it there in case they should lose their phone and need to contact you or if they want to send a text or call you through facebook. Gain 50 points for being so considerate, but only if you have less than 150 friends. Gain 20 points if you have no phone number listed and so will experience fewer prank calls. Gain a further 15 points if you understood all of that without having to re-read it.
	Take a shot and lose 30 points. Zuckers just doesn’t like you.
	Take a shot if you have not seen The Social Network. You obviously are not nearly obsessed enough with facie-bee. If you can name two characters from the film, gain 100 points.
	Shot if you have over 500 friends. You’re trying too hard. Lose 30 points for every hundred you have over 500 (eg. 500-600 = -10, 601-700 = -20 etc). If you have less than 200 friends, choose one other person to have a shot (preferably someone with way too many friends) and gain 250 points.
	Shot or dare: LIKE ATTACK!! Like every piece of content (status, photo, check-in etc) that appears on your feed. Every single one. Gain 10 points for every like.
	Let everyone else in the room examine your profile. Take a shot for any and every spelling error that they find – this can be within your information or any status updates or comments. Lose 100 points if you ‘purposely’ misspelled words in an attempt to appear ‘cool’. You failed. Gain 200 points if they cannot find a single one.
	Shot or dare: Look at your newsfeed. Pick three items and post a comment saying ‘WGAF’. For those people who have not been exposed to this acronym, it means ‘who gives a f*ck’, and I invented it specifically for lame facebook posts. Typically you should probably follow the comment with (Pring, 2010) but I’ll let you get away without it in this case. Get 50 points for every person who asks what it means. Get 100 points for every person who responds angrily.
	Shot or dare: Let your friends scour your photos. Change your profile picture to any of their choosing. They will choose your points allocation based on how bad/embarrassing/drunken the photo is. Alternatively if you are boring and have no juicy pics, they can decide to direct an appropriate photo shoot now and use that pic.
	Guess who you think in the room has the most friends, and who has the least. Person with the most friends has to shot because they think they are cool when they’re not. Person with the least friends has to shot because Zuckers is not happy that they are jeopardising his ‘sponsored stories’ reach. You get 50 points for each person guessed correctly. If you are the person who has the most friends in the room, take two shots for being  a try-hard.
	Shot or dare: Get every person in the room to come up with a dare for you to complete, create a facebook questions poll asking your facebook community which dare you should complete. Wait for 20 minutes to see which option is the most popular. Perform this. 200 points.
	Look at your ‘activities and interests’ under your info section. Take a shot for every lame item you have in this section.  For example ‘chilling with friends’, ‘cuddles’ or anything else the group declares to be embarrassing, lame or just plain stupid.

The end.